~mellie-chan

I got my Art Foundation result on Monday, and I got a merit. I'm happy and disappointed at the same time... I'm glad because I only needed a pass to get onto the degree course I'm starting in September, and in that respect a merit is a bit of a bonus. But on the other hand, I'd promised myself right back at the beginning of the year that I'd get a distinction, basically just to throw back in my A-Level art teachers' faces because they didn't think I could handle art at uni.

I admit that, during the first term, I did find myself questioning if I was really cut out for it... But it helped me sort out in my head what I like and dislike about the subject. I am not a fine artist. Fine art frustrates and annoys the hell out of me... Other people's work is fine (as long as it makes some sort of sense to me and I can tell what it's trying to be/say/do without having to read an essay on it), but I'm not cut out to do that myself. The project briefs leave me cold because they're just so open, and I need something with a little more focus. That, and I find the whole art world incredibly pretentious - I don't mean any people in particular (and I definitely don't mean anyone I know specialising in fine art), I just mean the art world in general.

But I wouldn't go as far as decribing myself as an animator yet. That's what I aspire to be, but I need to work and learn to get there. One day what I'd really like to do is make my own cartoons - I know with a gallery of anime stuff that sounds hugely clichéd, but it's what I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember. I've always enjoyed creating characters and telling stories about them, I just generally keep them to myself because I'm scared of sharing them with others. Obviously I'm going to have to overcome that, but at the moment my work isn't where I want it to be and I don't feel like it's up to the standard of being ready to show people.

I'm trying to get out of the anime style. I haven't been uploading anything recently because I feel like I'm just another teenager trying to draw pretty anime pictures, with no real recognisable style of my own. I still like anime and manga, and I'll continue to watch/read because I enjoy it... I just need to do something a bit different when I draw. I'm working on it, although I doubt I'll ever get to a point where I'm totally happy with my own style, because I don't think anybody ever does. There's always room for improvement.

I seriously didn't mean to ramble that much. WHOOOO. Anyway, going back to uni for a second, now that I have my results I should be getting my accommodation allocated soon... Hopefully before all the people waiting for their A-Level results. I don't mind if I don't get my first choice of halls... but it would be really good if I did. *FINGERS CROSSED*

ALSO. Is anyone going to JapanEX? I should be, at least one of the days, if not both. If I can only go for one though, I don't know which day it will be yet. I will be cosplaying, but in an old costume as I haven't had time/money to make a new one. If I can go both days, Saturday I will be Shikamaru again, and Sunday I will be Sakaki again. If I can only go for one, I will be Sakaki as it's more comfortable and easier to wear (and doesn't require going round the tube with crazy hair). I'm looking forward to the convention though, it sounds like it's going to be really interesting. (And it's Harry Potter weekend, which should make everything even more interesting.)

My photos from the May London Expo are here, for anyone who hasn't seen them yet.